Honoring Your Host's Wishes

Today is Super Bowl Sunday for us Americans. It is often a day where people get together to watch two footballs teams fight it out while surrounding ourselves with a near ridiculous amount of food and beer.

If you are invited to a Super Bowl party, you may be wondering what you should or should not bring to the party.   The answer generally is to contact your host and ask them. A call or an email to say "Is there anything I can bring?" is a simple straightforward way to do it.  If they say yes, they may very well have an item in mind such as an appetizer or wine.  If not, suggest what you would like to bring.  Are you someone who likes making little appetizers or someone who would rather grab a bag of chips?

If they say no they do not need you to bring anything, then you should honor that. You may be trying to help or to reduce their work load but they may be offended. It was not that long ago that the thought of asking or offering to bring something outside of a pot luck or family tragedy was not even considered.  Some people still consider it a slight on the host to suggest that they are not capable of providing a complete meal.

You should also never bring something without consulting your host. You may mean well by bringing those chocolate chip cookies but what if they have already made chocolate chip cookies?  Or you show up with a dip that needs heating but they are actively cooking and you throw off their rhythm or schedule?

For many people, the reason they want to bring something is a feeling of obligation. Your host is going to all of this trouble so you feel you should reciprocate in some way. The best way to do this is to reciprocate with an invitation later. Have them over for dinner or to watch a movie and eat snacks.  You do not have to have the same level of food or occasion that they do; just having them over is sufficient. So make that call or send that email and see what you can do to help.  Accept their answer either way and when the time is right, feel free to have them over or take them out. One good time out deserves another.