I've always enjoyed reading Miss Manners. Mostly, I confess, that I enjoy shaking my head in shock at the poor behavior. The attempts to justify bad manners by saying "they started it!" I think most of the etiquette situations there are pretty clear cut. No you may not throw down your fork and storm out because they said something mean. No you do not get to pack yourself a doggy bag when you eat at some one's house.
Etiquette is just a fancy way to say have good manners. Good manners mean being gracious in ungracious circumstances. It means being above reproach even if you are mentally reproaching everyone else. Be that gracious person that every one else thinks of as the one who always knows the right thing to do. Fake it if necessary. And if you mess up and do something ungracious, shake it off and start over. It is never too late to act the lady or gentleman.
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