American Flag Etiquette

The 4th of July is almost here. I thought this would be a good time to go over some etiquette for proper treatment of the American flag.

The flag should never touch the ground. It should be properly folded when stored.

The flag should never be thrown in the trash no matter how worn out it might be. The code states that you should dispose of the flag in an honorable way, preferably by burning.  Our local Boy Scouts will take back old flags for proper disposal. You may want to check with your local Boy Scouts or similar foundation in your area. It is permissible to mend or repair a flag.

The flag should not be left out in bad weather. If you hang out a flag, you should bring it in at night and put it back in the morning but not if it is raining or snowing.  You should only fly all weather flags if you plan to leave it out; never cloth ones.



Flags should be hung at half-mast (or half-staff) only when mourning a death. Otherwise, it should fly high and proud. It should always fly upright unless being used as a distress signal.

During the National Anthem, all persons should face the flag. You should stand at attention with your hand on your heart. If you are not any American, you should still stand at attention out of respect but do not place your hand on your heart.  

Members of the Armed Forces who are in uniform should render the military salute. If you are in civilian clothes or a veteran, you may chose whether to salute or stand with your hand on your heart.
If the flag is in motion such as a parade, you salute as it passes you.

The flag itself should never be used as decoration or advertising. Instead you should use red, white and blue stripes. You should never write on or attached any other symbols, emblems etc to the flag. It should be shown as is. 

Treat the flag with respect always. It is the symbol of our country. God Bless The USA and Happy 4th of July. 

Be Very Very Quiet . . . We Are Hunting Rabbits

I remember watching Elmer Fudd as a child. He would tiptoe around and say, "Be very very quiet. We are hunting rabbits." 

We are all older now and probably neither hunting rabbits nor watching Elmer Fudd. We should, however, be considerate of those around us when it comes to our silence or at least our volume.

I live on a relatively quiet street except I have this one couple down the road that likes to rev their motorcycles.  It goes on for quite a while at a time. I mentally picture them competing amongst themselves to see who can go loudest or longest.  I know motorcycles do not have to be loudly revved for long periods of time. They chose to do it. I imagine it makes them happy.  It does nothing for their neighbors.  You can literally hear it a mile away.

A friend of mine lives in the city. She can reach her neighbor on either side in about 5 strides. She dreads playoff seasons because noises carry.  Her neighbors start yelling even if it is at 11 at night presumably because some one scored or the local team won.  She at least has a house. Can you imagine how loud it must be if you are in an apartment?

Every place I have ever lived has had some kind of noise ordinance. Most of them say keep it down after 11 pm and before 7 am. This does not mean you get to scream at the top of your lungs at 7:30 am.  

Be considerate of your neighbors, your family, roommates etc. If everyone is, every one's lives will be the better for it.

The Top Ten Etiquette Rules You Should Know

1. Be considerate.  This is the underlying reason behind almost all etiquette rules.

2. Be on time. It is never nice to make some one wait. If you can't be on time, make sure to let them know.

3. Chew with your mouth closed. No one wants to see that.

4. If you are not sure if you should say it or do it, then you probably should not. That may very well be your brain telling you to stop and think.

5. Do not talk during the movie.  People want to hear the actors; not you.

6. Always accept a present graciously and never assume you are owed one. This is true even if it is a hideously colored sweater or a cause you do not believe in. Thank them and then quietly get rid of it later.

7. Do not interrupt someone else when they are speaking. You will get your turn. Unless it is an emergency this is true. If it is an emergency feel free to say, "Excuse me but your hair is on fire."

8. Treat everyone with respect and courtesy even if you do not like them. Etiquette works best on the people we dislike. Of course, it works great with people we like or love too.

9. Do not be rude just because some one else was. Good manners mean behaving well even if everyone else is being a brat.

10. Always RSVP.  Not answering does not automatically mean you are attending or vice versa. Let your host or hostess know for certain.

Why Can't I Put My Elbows On The Table?

Have you ever wondered where an etiquette rule came from or why we bother to have it? Etiquette customs evolve from real life issues at the time. 

The habit of clinking glasses came from a time when people used sturdy pewter mugs. When drinking with a stranger or an enemy, you would all crash your mugs hard into each other and deliberately send a spray of drink splashing all over each others mugs.  This was a precaution against being poisoned as the poison could end up being distributed back into the villain's own mug.

The reason you are not supposed to put your elbows on the table is that people often ate in large groups sitting cramped together on long wooden benches at long wooden tables. No one had enough room as it was, so putting your elbows on the table just made things even more cramped. It meant you were inconsiderate and selfish if you did.

I'm sure you know that the knife goes on the right side of the placing setting. Do you know that the blade should be facing the plate? This goes back again to where people were often crammed together with strangers. You would face the knife away from the other person in order to avoid some one getting accidentally cut. It was considered a sign of aggression if you let your blade face them. Remember this was back before the advent of such things as dull butter knives.

Fancy napkin rings where invented not to beautify a table but rather to reduce laundry. Family members would reuse the same cloth napkin at multiple meals and the napkin rings helped identify who had used that napkin prior.

I remember as a child asking my father why he always walked on the outside of the sidewalk nearest the street while keeping my mother on the inside. He told me that it went back to when he was a teenager. The male walked on the outside to protect the female from being splashed from the road. It was also a way to tell the other men that this woman was under your protection or with you. When I asked him what you did when you had two women with you, he winked at me and said, "Well then you put the one you don't want on the outside and see if some other fellow wants to come take her off your hands."