Movie Theater Etiquette

I think the most important part of movie theater etiquette is the most obvious. Do not talk during the movie.   If you like to talk through movies, then you really should wait and get the movies to watch at home. This is easily done these days with a quick trip to your library, ordering it online or by streaming it. Be careful, though, to make sure that your talking through the move at home does not annoy your family or significant other.

Turn off all cell phones or electronics while in the theater.  If you are especially early, you could keep it on and then turn it off once the preshow starts. Do not talk on your cell phone or search your smart phone during any part of the show. Some people enjoy watching the preshow or the previews. Do not keep them from enjoying it. They paid good money to be there.  You can always step outside the theater door if you want to use your phone.

But if I am just searching things on my smart phone I am not making any noise. No you are not making noise but your screen lights up. That bright light is distracting to the people behind you.   Please be considerate.

If you are tall, please consider sitting further to the back or going to theaters with stadium style seating so that people can see from behind you. On the opposite side, if you are short, please consider sitting closer to the front.

Keep your children from attacking the chairs around them. This includes kicking, hitting or putting their feet on the back of the seat in front of them. It makes the chair of that person bounce which is very distracting while trying to watch a show.

Only use the empty seat next to you as a coat hanger if the theater is mostly empty. If it is popular show, your belongings should go on the back of your own seat or under your seat. The exception being if you are saving a seat for someone.

Avoid coming in after the movie has already started. It distracts people and makes it difficult for you to find a seat without a hassle.  Avoid going to the movies if you have a cough or cold. It is better for your health to stay home and get better and it is better for everyone else if you do not cough, sneeze and blow your nose through the show.

When the show is over, make sure you have all of your belongings and have picked up all of your trash.

What did I miss?  Any movie theater habits that drive you crazy?

20 Easy Ways To Annoy Other People

1. Interrupt someone when they are speaking.

2. Be late for an engagement without calling.

3. Ignore someone.

4. Talk loudly on your phone in a public place.

5.Cut someone off in traffic.

6. Play your music loudly when your neighbors are trying to sleep.

7. Chew with your mouth open.

8. Correct other people in public.

9. Park across multiple parking spaces.

10. Throw trash in some one's yard or out of your car window.

11. Stand in some one's personal space.

12. Blow cigarette smoke into some one's face.

13. Break your promises.

14. Leave a mess.

15. Take up multiple seats on the bus or train.

16. Talk during the movie.

17.  Let your children run through the store screaming.

18. Be a poor sport if you lose.

19. Use the phrase, "Don't you know who I am?".

20. Cause a scene.

Don't Overstep The Boundaries Of An Introduction

Human beings like to connect. We want to feel close to other people. We want to be seen. Sometimes in our quest to connect with someone new, we overstep.

An introduction is not the time to share your entire life story. I'm not saying that you can not share details of your personal life or your personal history. I am saying do not overstep the bounds of etiquette by thrusting your life story on someone prematurely. Start with small talk and let the conversation develop.

I will give you an example that happened to me years ago. I do not remember this conversation word for word but this is the general content of it.

I was introduced to a woman at a party. I do not remember her name. I do remember how she answered my, "How do you do?" She replied, "Not bad now that my ex-husband is not trying to strangle me on an almost daily basis."  While I certainly felt bad for her that she came from an abusive relationship, mostly I was just horrified.

I did not know how to respond. What could I possibly say after that? The entire room lapsed into an awkward horrible silence for several minutes and then we mostly just all drifted into other rooms. No one knew what they should say or how to respond in any way that would be helpful or that did not sound callous and so we said nothing.

While this young woman had every right to be upset and in a quieter venue would, I am sure, have gotten the sympathy she wanted, in this setting all she did was make a lot of people uncomfortable and ruin the host's party. 

I hope that she had someone with which to share her experience. I hope she sought professional help or family or some close friends. I am not telling this story because I harbor any ill will towards her. However, such a statement at a party and at a first introduction, is one of the worst etiquette breaches. It made people very uncomfortable, helped her not at all and ruined the efforts of the hosts to make an enjoyable evening.

When introduced to someone new, you should always start by making small talk. I know some people consider it a waste of time but it is really a chance. It is a chance to get used to each other. A chance to spend some quiet time talking or sometimes just marking time.  It is also a chance to decide if you wish to continue into a deeper conversation or perhaps even a friendship.

We all have our problems. We all need help sometimes. Do not confuse a casual introduction with a chance to have everyone focused on you and never put anyone in such an uncomfortable position.

The Etiquette of Awkward

Every one has had that awkward moment that is too embarrassing to talk about. Maybe you burped during your presentation or you passed gas in front of some one you found attractive.  Maybe you were the one standing there when it happened to someone else.

There is no reason to be nervous or feel awkward if this happens to you.  Simply say, "Excuse me" in a calm voice and start talking about something else.   If someone else does this, simply ignore it.  Etiquette is always about reducing embarrassing and awkward moments. When ever possible, treat it as calmly as possible and move on.

Do not let awkwardness keep you from helping some one else in an embarrassing situation.  For instance, if you see someone whose zipper is down, tell them. State it simply and matter of fact, "Excuse me but your zipper has come undone." 

If someone has bad breath, offer them a mint or a piece of gum. If they have something in their nose, hand them a tissue.  There is no reason to make a big deal out of any of it.  Treat it all as matter of fact as you can and you will save everyone a lot of embarrassment.

After all if it was you, wouldn't you rather have that 30 seconds of awkwardness of some one letting you know? Much better than knowing you waited until you noticed it yourself. Now you don't have to spend the rest of the day wondering how many people saw it before you did.

Personal Space At Dinner Parties

Sometimes when you are at a dinner party or out to eat with a large group, you find yourself reaching across someone and grabbing that roll from the bread basket. It seems so much simpler than getting their attention, asking them to pass the basket. Then you wait while they pass it, take the basket, pick your piece of bread, hand it back. They put the basket back down and you say thank you.   It all seems so complicated.  So much simpler to just reach across and take it, right?  I'm afraid not.

Most people do not like others in their personal space. Having someone--even someone they know well--lean across them is aggravating. Good manners say, never reach across anyone. Always ask them to pass the item, please. Thank you. As with most rules of good etiquette, the idea is to offend as few people as possible. Staying out of their personal space is the best way to do this.

Have you ever been sitting next to someone who just keeps leaning a little into your space?  Maybe it's not a big deal the first time or even the second. By the end of the evening you just want to elbow them in the side. (Please don't.)  This is exactly the person you should avoid becoming (and maybe sitting beside if you can help it).

It is often the small things that set us up to be the most aggravated.  Proper etiquette, also known as good manners, can help us avoid that.