Don't Presume Everyone Is On Social Media

I recently saw a story of a woman who did not get an invitation to her brother's wedding. There had been no fight; no reason to think she was deliberately excluded. When she questioned it, she was told that he had posted a message on Facebook that anyone who wanted to attend should let him know. She had not seen the message.

Leaving aside the fact that you should be making a list and sending out invitations to something as important as a wedding, this man was leaving the guest list for his wedding up to both the vagrancies of the internet and chance.

Even those of us who do use Facebook, do not necessarily check it every day or see every post that worms its way through our news feed. It would be easy to miss it.

I know it probably seemed an easy way to do it to this man's mind. He left the planning of the guest list up to others. If they really wanted to go, they would be checking his Facebook feed or making a point to contact him.  This completely ignores the fact that it would be rude for people to contact him asking for an invitation to the wedding. 

You would think he would at least send invitations to immediate family and close friends regardless of whether they saw or responded to his post. He also put himself in a position of including people who probably are not that important to him.  After all, Facebook includes acquaintances as well as close friends and family and you just told everyone on your friend list that they can come.

Facebook and Twitter and the other forms of social media are wonderful tools. They let us catch glimpses into each others lives in ways we never could before. They let us quickly start the passing of important or even semi important news.  But using them as the exclusive way to handle something this important is rather like taking out a billboard on the highway and then being annoyed if not everyone drove that way.

Skip the hurt feelings and the confusion and the potential that important people may miss your important event. Go ahead and use Facebook or Twitter as a starting point but not assume it absolves you of any further work.  Take the time and do it right.

Keep Your Spell Checker To Yourself

People some times misspell words or use the wrong punctuation mark. We do not always use proper grammar. This is especially true of instant message, texting and emails. Maybe we are in a hurry and missed that typo. Maybe we do not know the right way to spell that word.

Now you get that email and you go to respond but you decide to use spell checker first. Spell checker is not concerned about good manners. Spell checker has one job; to destroy that misspelled word. Because it has no boundaries, it may very well tell you there is a misspelled word in that original email.

I have had several people ask what they should do. Do they correct that misspelled word in the original email or tell spell checker to skip it?

The answer is absolutely unequivocally no, you do not correct the spelling in the original message. You may check your own contributions to make sure they are correct but you never correct anyone else (other than your own young children) on anything other than your own name or the name of your immediate family.

To correct the spelling of an adult is to treat them like a child. It is not your place and it will not be appreciated.  This does not mean that you should misspell the word when you respond. It just means you do not draw attention to any errors.

Worry about your own spelling and grammar but do not project it to someone else. We all make mistakes and if we all start pointing them out, all it will do is cause a lot of hard feelings.  At its base, etiquette is all about helping people get along.

Dealing With Customer Service Representatives

It is becoming increasingly more common these days when dealing with a company such as your cable, your insurance or a purchase, that you may be calling a large service center or emailing the company. Here are some guidelines.

First, always put identifying information on the subject line of any emails. These could be your name or your account number. This lets them identify your account and if you continue to email back and forth, to differentiate you from every other email they may get that day. Putting Highland Ave on the subject line may let you know it is your Highland Ave house but if the email right after you says Highland St as the subject line, this could lead to you getting wrong information. Try instead putting something like Jane Doe, Highland Ave, #1315656.

Do not put sensitive information such as your social security number or passwords. This is intended to identify you; not put you at risk.

Second, when emailing to a company, it is a good idea to be polite and precise in your initial emails. Requests that come filled with profanity or threats are rarely going to get you the result you want. Always start by being polite and saying what it is you want from them. This is especially true if you are asking them to make an exception to their company policy.

The same rules of politeness apply when calling a company. Start off by identifying yourself such as providing the name on the account or the number. Let them know what the situation is and what they should do to resolve it to your satisfaction. For example, an item arrived damaged so you would like a replacement one. Your bill never came so you would like them to waive the late fee.

If the person you are speaking with can not help you, then ask to speak with a supervisor or manager. This is especially true if the representative is saying something like "I can not" or "I am unable". This may be them trying to tell you to ask for a supervisor. A lot of companies will not let you be transferred until you ask to be transferred. By berating the first person, you are wasting your time and ruining their day. Neither of which will help you.

Above all, try to remain calm. The person with whom you are speaking is rarely the person who caused your problem and may not even be the person who can fix it. Try not to yell or threaten or swear at some one just because they are on the other end of the phone. This is especially true if the mistake was yours and you are asking them to do something for you because of it such as waiving a late fee when you forgot to send your payment.

As always when ever you deal with some one in a service position, treat them with respect and civility. Be polite, have your information handy and be clear about what it is you want and people will be more likely to go that extra mile to help you out.

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Complaining about your company

Even the best job in the world has its bad days. Maybe you had a tough customer. Maybe that project you have worked on for months was suddenly canceled. We all have bad days at work.

In the past, you would call up your friend or go to the bar with your coworkers for a drink. You could bad mouth your boss or your company and that would be it. These days we connect more digitally than in person. We often think nothing of tweeting or posting on Facebook.  The trouble comes when you post something negative about your company.

Never post negative comments about your boss, your company or your clients.

It is disloyal to your company. It is also harmful to you. You could lose your job. You could be overlooked for a promotion.  It could be as simple as your life being more complicated because your boss is just plain mad at you.   You could even face a lawsuit from the company or the client.

Think twice before you post your company's dirt laundry online. It is the best decision for everyone involved.